Chapter 862: Illness

Li Huowang gripped the iron window bars tightly, his single eye staring blankly at the patients exercising outside, observing their strange behavior.

He pondered for a very long time before finally, with a slight tremble, opening his mouth to murmur to himself, "Are they all really hallucinations? Was I actually mentally ill all along?"

"You just figured that out?!" Yi Donglai's voice, suppressed with anger, came from behind him.

"So when you killed people before, when you climbed the electric fence, when you gouged out your own eyeball, did you think you were a normal person then?"

Li Huowang's expression gradually turned grim, veins bulging on his hands as he gripped the iron bars tightly. "There were definite reasons for everything I did!"

"Which mentally ill person kills or harms without a reason? But that reason only makes sense in your mind! It doesn't fit the outside world!"

Li Huowang could no longer hold back. He spun around, glaring furiously at his attending physician, Yi Donglai. "Why are you so agitated?! I'm the one who's sick now! Why are *you* so agitated?!"

"Me, agitated? How can I not be agitated? Do you know what it means for me after what happened to you?" Yi Donglai stood up, agitated.

"It means my papers were retracted, it means my path to promotion is blocked! It means I've been publicly humiliated and ridiculed by my peers! I even gave interviews before! I talked extensively about your treatment process on television!"

"If you don't get better now, then my life is over too!! I cannot accept such a result!"

After speaking, Yi Donglai sat back down, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and began to compose himself.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw Li Huowang's single eye, very close to him, staring directly.

"Yi Donglai," Li Huowang's voice cut in, "What do you mean by that? What kind of projection are you? Why would my changes affect you?"

"Argh!" He slammed his fists down on the table, instantly disrupting Yi Donglai's newly calmed state of mind.

"Watch him! I'm going to splash some water on my face!" With Yi Donglai slamming the door shut, Li Huowang and the nurse stared at each other.

Li Huowang stopped looking at the nurse. He turned back to gaze at the barbed wire fence outside, and at Gao Jinyun standing nearby.

"Am I really mentally ill? But why does it feel so real? If they really are all real, then what I saw before – what was real and what was a hallucination?"

All his past memories began to destabilize in his mind.

Li Huowang stood there, his expression troubled, pondering this question until Yi Donglai returned.

When Yi Donglai, after splashing cold water on his face several times, sat back down, he saw Li Huowang sitting upright in front of him, hands resting on his knees.

"What are you doing?"

"Aren't I mentally ill? Aren't you my attending physician? What else would I be doing? If I'm sick, of course I need treatment."

Yi Donglai rested his chin in his hand, frowning intently at Li Huowang, wondering what this guy was up to.

He had always thought he understood Li Huowang well, but now he realized he didn't understand him at all.

However, Li Huowang wasn't plotting anything; he genuinely just wanted to get better. Since he truly was sick, he certainly should seek treatment.

And since Qing Wanglai had completely abandoned him, he was the only one who could save himself.

Once he recovered from his mental illness, he would be able to leave. Then, he could go find Qing Wanglai and settle accounts, demanding to know why he wasn't there during the Si Ming War.

"Are you sure? Are you really sure you'll fully cooperate with my treatment from now on?"

"Of course, is that even a question? I want to get better as soon as possible too," Li Huowang said very naturally.

Yi Donglai chuckled and shook his head. "I wouldn't have guessed."

"Tsk, Yi Donglai, what do you mean? Hurry up and treat me, the previous treatment method was quite good."

"Not so fast," Yi Donglai said, pulling his chair closer. "Let's get things clear first. What did you say I was a projection of just now?"

"I remember you told me this before. Can you repeat it now?"

"No, no, no," Li Huowang shook his head. "You don't need to worry about that. You just need to cure the hallucinations."

Yi Donglai frowned, staring at him. "So, you think you only need to treat the hallucinations? And that the previous projections and such were real? Have you considered that this so-called projection could also be one of your hallucinations?"

Li Huowang sat there, his brows furrowed. After five minutes, he looked up at Yi Donglai. "Are you saying that Qing Wanglai was deceiving me from the very beginning?"

"No, what I mean is that Qing Wanglai could also be your hallucination. You know the definition of a delusion, right? An irrational, unrealistic, impossible belief that is strongly held despite evidence to the contrary!"

"I once treated a patient who, if a young girl happened to glance at him on the street, would believe she liked him. He clung to this idea, regardless of her insults, disgust, or even physical abuse."

"If she hit or cursed him, he would rationalize it, thinking that hitting was affection and cursing was love. If she cried and begged him to leave, he'd interpret it as her playing hard to get. Whatever she did, in his mind, he could twist it to fit his own understanding."

"Your situation now is even worse than his. You also have hallucinations, and you might even misinterpret what your hallucinations say to you, a second level of distortion."

"I know you might have your own bizarre yet incredibly stable worldview right now, and you're very convinced of it."

"But your worldview itself is an extreme delusion, just like that patient who believed other women loved him. In reality, no young girl could possibly like him, no matter what. He's fifty-six, has three broken fingers, and his mouth is crooked."

"No, no, no, maybe Qing Wanglai was deceiving me! But they are all real! Absolutely real!"

"Absolutely real? Who can prove it? Just you?"

"Nana!" Li Huowang suddenly looked up. "Nana went with me!"

"Are you suggesting I go ask another mentally ill person to understand your delusions?"

"Will you leave Yang Na alone? Haven't you harmed her enough?"

While Li Huowang was undergoing treatment, a vigilant nurse spoke to a colleague nearby: "I heard the last doctor who treated this guy went crazy and was admitted to a mental hospital. I think, if this continues, Dr. Yi might go crazy too."

"If you ask me, Dr. Yi shouldn't have taken on this hot potato. The higher-ups have already issued a strict order that whether he's cured or not, he's probably going to live here for the rest of his life."

"They should have done this a long time ago. Last time he killed so many people, I thought it was too hasty to let him out easily. Letting a ticking time bomb like him wander around outside, isn't that just playing with people's lives?"