Chapter 536: 君臣相声

What should I do?

In the vast Purple Cloud Palace, all eyes, except for those of his own teacher, Taiqing, were fixed on his hands. Subtle pressures, intentional and unintentional, emanated, mostly canceling each other out, but still, a faint aura of Saintly power settled on Li Changshou, making it difficult for him to breathe. Just then, a figure flashed, stepping in front of Li Changshou, standing with hands clasped behind his back, facing away from him. Although his expression was calm, a barely concealed smile played on his lips. Behind him, a phantom image of the Taiji Diagram materialized, completely dissolving the pressure bearing down on Li Changshou. It was, of course, Archmage Xuandu, who had intervened just in time. Beside him, the Jade Emperor, who had risen a little late, quietly straightened his posture. He had missed another opportunity to strengthen the bond between ruler and subject.

Li Changshou hastily composed his chaotic Dao heart, continuing to feign severe injury, clutching the God-Beating Whip and the Investiture of the Gods tightly. His thoughts raced, and his mental power remained fully engaged. Calculate, quickly! How many layers of meaning did the Dao Ancestor's actions hold this time?! "Spanking is affection, scolding is love"—that's something you tell children. To believe that rotten old... *cough*, oh dear, his heart was surprisingly filled with gratitude. However, the Dao Ancestor's "special treatment" in his presence—the small thunder whip and quiet whispers—was clearly an overt expression of support for the Heavenly Court. The subtext was none other than: "I, the humble Daoist, wish to prosper the Heavenly Court. Regardless of your machinations during this great tribulation, the Heavenly Court's divine positions must be filled." Then, he tossed the Investiture of the Gods and the God-Beating Whip, making a graceful exit.

Li Changshou had imagined countless scenarios for the Investiture of the Gods' appearance. Previously, he thought the most likely situation would be the Dao Ancestor speaking profound, enigmatic words before bestowing the list. But he never expected... his hand to tremble, dropping the list, which just happened to land right in his arms! The Second Saint next to him nearly turned green with frustration. And he, of all people, was paralyzed and had his Primordial Spirit sealed by the Dao Ancestor's heavenly punishment, making it impossible to refuse or argue. His supposedly "blessed" mouth was completely useless! If anyone claimed that Grandmaster Hongjun hadn't intentionally arranged this, Li Changshou wouldn't believe them even if it meant striking down Saint Zhunti. To help the Jade Emperor or his own teacher contend for the Investiture of the Gods today, Li Changshou had prepared several sets of arguments and a dozen plans. He had also spared no effort in collecting "sins" of the Western Sect to utterly crush them. In the end... it was all for naught. What the Dao Ancestor gave him was far more than he had ever imagined.

It turned out all he needed was to endure a beating and a few scoldings from the Dao Ancestor. Without any need to contend or snatch, relying on the Dao Ancestor's ancient divine ability of a "trembling hand," the Heavenly Scroll was forcibly placed directly into his grasp. All the schemes, intrigues, and faction-forming were completely useless!

Thinking in reverse, what kind of situation would have arisen if the Dao Ancestor hadn't used this method today? Li Changshou quickly calculated... In the original God-Conferring Tribulation, the Investiture of the Gods was held by Primordial Heavenly Venerable. It was likely due to Primordial Heavenly Venerable hedging his bets and secretly negotiating with the Western Sect. Now, the God-Conferring Tribulation had undergone many changes, and Dao Ancestor Hongjun had already explicitly stated that he would hand over the leadership of the God-Conferring to the Heavenly Court. Three years ago, Primordial Heavenly Venerable and Jieyin Daoist met and discussed matters. It was highly probable that they were negotiating today's affair then: the two Saints of the Western Sect supporting Primordial Heavenly Venerable in wielding the Investiture of the Gods, and then directing the coming tribulation's slaughter towards the Jie Sect disciples.

Having understood this crucial point, a clear logical thread gradually emerged in Li Changshou's mind. He had indeed become a key in the Dao Ancestor's hand. Although the key itself was far less significant than the "lock," its position and shape were just right. Before entering the Purple Cloud Palace, Empress Nuwa's remark about humanity's destiny—"If humanity itself does not strive, who can it rely on?"—now, upon reflection, was truly laden with deep meaning. Empress Nuwa stood on humanity's side, and the God-Conferring Tribulation, in a sense, was because the Saintly Great Sects had wronged humanity. In other words, Empress Nuwa was then making a statement to the Dao Ancestor that she sided with Li Changshou.

Then, during today's discussion on the God-Conferring in the Purple Cloud Palace, the six Saints would very likely form an awkward three-on-three stalemate. The Dao Ancestor was the teacher of the six Saints. This tribulation was a tribulation of living beings sent down by the Heavenly Dao, and it required sufficient casualties to fulfill its karmic destiny. If, in this Purple Cloud Palace, the six Saints divided into two factions, centering around the Chan Sect and Jie Sect, resulting in a three-on-three deadlock, the Dao Ancestor might find it difficult to resolve. In such a situation, any stance taken by the Dao Ancestor would implicitly indicate the direction of the tribulation, thereby affecting the operation of the Heavenly Dao's karmic destiny. The Jie Sect owed humanity too much and was destined for heavy casualties. The Western Sect was outside the Daoist gate; it would be illogical for the Dao Ancestor to claim no objection to them.

Therefore, the Dao Ancestor creatively resolved the issue: he pulled out Li Changshou, a regular powerful deity of the Heavenly Court, beat him unconscious, then thrust the Investiture of the Gods and the God-Beating Whip upon him, and then gracefully departed. This move neither explicitly supported the Chan Sect nor the Jie Sect, suppressed the Western Sect, elevated the Heavenly Court, and granted a favor to Taiqing, who wished to avoid seeing his three brothers fall out. The Dao Ancestor was indeed superior. As for the idea that "beating you was just for my own comfort, and the Investiture of the Gods was merely tossed aside," how could Li Changshou possibly believe that? This was the most powerful being in the Primordial World, in harmony with the Heavenly Dao, the sole creator of the current Three Realms' structure. How could he possibly behave so casually with a mere grand-disciple? It was all calculation! Of course, he couldn't rule out the possibility that, during the calculation process, the Dao Ancestor might have spontaneously decided to give him a beating. Hmm, it's better to use Heavenly Dao oaths less often in the future. Grandmaster seems to have a strong opinion about that...

The problem now was that his own grandmaster had kicked him into a quagmire, then forcefully added two more kicks, burying his entire body in it. Li Changshou had originally intended to remain behind the scenes during the God-Conferring Tribulation, orchestrating events from the shadows. Now, however, he directly held the Investiture of the Gods and the God-Beating Whip! While this seemingly allowed direct interference with the God-Conferring script and granted higher authority, it also meant directly facing the conflicts between the great sects, making him the focal point of exploding contradictions! Truly unstable.

"Chang Geng... Chang Geng? Hey, ninety-eight percent?" The Jade Emperor's repeated calls, especially the last three words, made Li Changshou shiver. He instinctively opened his eyes, and the chaotic thoughts in his mind quickly settled. A hint of concern appeared in the Jade Emperor's eyes. Lying there, Li Changshou suddenly burst into laughter. Empress Nuwa couldn't help but ask in surprise, "You fellow, have you perhaps had your spirit damaged by Master's beating? Why are you laughing?"

Li Changshou quickly jumped up, shaking his Daoist robe, and a layer of black ash fell off. "To answer you, Martial Aunt," Li Changshou said with a smile, "I am happy to have earned Grandmaster's trust and to be entrusted with such an important task! Grandmaster even specifically explained why he hadn't bestowed merit earlier, and personally called me his grand-disciple." After speaking, Li Changshou looked at Saint Zhunti, whose face was ashen, and smiled: "Second Cult Master of the Western Sect, please rest assured. This humble deity will certainly strive to fulfill this duty, and according to Grandmaster's requirements, do everything within my power to bring about the prosperity of the Heavenly Court!"

"Ahem!" The Jade Emperor cleared his throat from behind him and said, "Minister Chang Geng, let's discuss these matters later. Perhaps you should... first go outside the hall and change your clothes. You are quite a sight." Li Changshou was somewhat confused. He was about to seize the opportunity to speak and hand over the Investiture of the Gods to the Jade Emperor for safekeeping. With a flick of his finger, the Jade Emperor sent a wisp of clear breeze, and a certain ordinary powerful deity of the Heavenly Court, controller of the Investiture of the Gods, and personally acknowledged grand-disciple of the Dao Ancestor... suddenly felt a rather cool sensation on his rounded rear! Turning his head, Li Changshou's old face flushed. With immortal light swirling around him, he repeatedly bowed in apology to those around him. How embarrassing this time!

He sought permission from his teacher, Taiqing, and slipped into the Taiji Diagram on the side, swiftly changing into a light blue robe. This damaged Daoist robe... a treasure to keep! Later, when he opened a "Primordial World Stability Sect Museum," this would be the best proof of the Dao Ancestor's loving care for the Stability Sect's leader!

During the brief interval while he was changing, Li Changshou heard the voices of the Saints conversing inside the hall. First, Saint Zhunti sighed, "Master ultimately does not trust us." Tongtian Cult Master retorted, "With what you have done, how can you expect Master to trust you?" "Fellow Daoist, your words are mistaken," Jieyin Daoist said slowly. "Heaven and Earth inherently possess order, and it is not solely the domain of the Daoist gate. When Master bestowed the Grandmist Purple Qi upon my martial brother and me, and said that the West was destined for great prosperity, this was indeed the principle of the Heavenly Dao. However, seen in this light, the God-Conferring Tribulation is not an opportunity for our Western prosperity."

Primordial Heavenly Venerable said, "Master's actions seem a bit childish." Tongtian Cult Master chuckled, "Did you not hear, Senior Brother, Master himself said that the Heavenly Scroll has a destined connection with Chang Geng. Chang Geng holds the position of a chief minister in the Heavenly Court, is a beloved disciple of Senior Brother, cultivates the Great Dao of Balance, and has previously accomplished many outstanding deeds for the prosperity of the Heavenly Court. What's wrong with him holding the Heavenly Scroll?" Primordial Heavenly Venerable said, "Chang Geng joined later; although his actions are prudent, his seniority is ultimately shallow." Empress Nuwa chuckled, "Senior Brother, I must say a few words about that. Don't forget, Senior Brother, Chang Geng is of human origin. This tribulation's main burden falls upon the Saintly Great Sects precisely because they have wronged humanity. Having Chang Geng, who is from the human race, preside over the tribulation perfectly aligns with destiny." On the side, the Archmage calmly walked back behind Taiqing Saint, diligently suppressing his presence to become "invisible," so as not to draw trouble and invite miscellaneous duties beyond sleeping.

After a few more exchanges among the Saints, Li Changshou stepped out from behind the Taiji Diagram. Not only had he changed his clothes, but he had also tidied his hair and cleaned off the scorched marks on his body. 'This pit of the Investiture of the Gods, I truly cannot jump into it.' As he reappeared, the gazes of the Saints once again converged on him. Empress Nuwa's look carried a hint of amusement mixed with encouragement, Tongtian Cult Master's was pure joy, Primordial Heavenly Venerable's was slightly complex, the Western Sect's Great Saint's gaze was full of goodwill, and the Second Saint's gaze... that wasn't important.

Taiqing Saint had been closing his eyes in repose, seemingly uninvolved in anything. But at this moment, Li Changshou slowly walked before Taiqing Saint, bowed respectfully to his teacher, and gently said: "Teacher, your disciple has something to report." "Speak." "Grandmaster, in his trust, bestowed upon your disciple the God-Beating Whip and the Investiture of the Gods, instructing me to oversee the Investiture. Your disciple should not refuse, but this matter is of great importance. As Second Martial Uncle said, your disciple's seniority is lacking and experience insufficient. The Investiture of the Gods is no small matter, and your disciple fears a momentary error or oversight could lead to disaster."

Li Changshou looked at the Jade Emperor and spoke clearly: "Your disciple wishes to request Teacher's permission to return the Investiture of the Gods to the Heavenly Court, to be personally overseen by His Majesty the Jade Emperor. His Majesty the Jade Emperor need not trouble himself with the matters of the Investiture. Your disciple will, by the power of the God-Beating Whip, carry out the Dao Ancestor's command and meticulously plan for the Heavenly Court's great prosperity!" Upon hearing this, a faint smile irresistibly appeared on the Jade Emperor's lips. Taiqing Saint also showed a contemplative expression and said, "Acceptable."

"Thank you for your permission, Teacher," Li Changshou bowed, then holding the Investiture of the Gods with both hands, quickly approached the Jade Emperor's seat and winked at him. The Jade Emperor gravely asked, "What is the difference between Chang Geng wielding the Investiture of the Gods and I wielding it?" Li Changshou also replied gravely, "Your Majesty is the leader of the Three Realms recognized by the Heavenly Dao, holding the foremost divine authority in Heaven and Earth. The Investiture of the Gods is inherently for the prosperity of the Heavenly Court. During this process, it is most fitting for Your Majesty to personally wield this Investiture of the Gods. This humble deity will certainly assist with all my might!"

The Jade Emperor pondered for a few moments, then looked at the scroll before him and slowly nodded. "If that is the case, I shall temporarily hold the Investiture of the Gods on your behalf, Chang Geng. This list shall be placed in the High Heavens Palace for you to use at any time." "Thank you, Your Majesty!" Li Changshou presented the Investiture of the Gods with both hands. The Jade Emperor stood up, received it with both hands, and slowly clasped it in his palm. Instantly, golden light shone brightly, and wisps of Heavenly Dao power surged in all directions. Above the Jade Emperor's head, a phantom image of a scroll appeared, entirely blank. Seeing this, a heavy stone in Li Changshou's heart settled stably. The God-Beating Whip he held in his hand also seemed to lose much of its weight. Nominal duties would be taken on by His Majesty the Jade Emperor; actual micro-management would be influenced by him. Although the entire process caught Li Changshou off guard, made him reflect deeply, and was beyond his expectations, it ultimately achieved his anticipated perfect outcome. As a bonus, he also gained a bit of the Dao Ancestor's protection.

At the same time, a glimmer of understanding arose in the hearts of the two Saints from the Daoist sects destined for tribulation, and the two Saints from the Western Sect.

Primordial Heavenly Venerable said, "Brother Haotian, how does one sign the Investiture of the Gods?" The Jade Emperor replied, "The Investiture of the Gods has a total of 365 vacant spots, corresponding to the 365 upright divine positions in the Heavenly Court, involving vacancies in the eight ministries of Heaven, the deities of the Three Mountains and Five Sacred Peaks, and so on. It is destined for 365 living beings to enter the ranks of Heavenly Court deities and enjoy the incense offerings of the Heavenly Court." Empress Nuwa smiled, "While His Majesty the Jade Emperor's words are true, as just revealed by the Heavenly Dao, if a name is written on the Investiture of the Gods and that person perishes in the tribulation, a wisp of their Primordial Spirit will enter the list, and their entire life will be bound by it."

Tongtian Cult Master frowned in thought. Li Changshou commented from the side, "Martial Aunt, this is both a bad thing and a good thing. If someone was destined to die in the tribulation, gaining the Investiture of the Gods' protection and being able to be reborn with the power of the Heavenly Dao to enter the Heavenly Court and enjoy offerings, for that person, it might not be a bad thing at all." Saint Zhunti coldly said, "If so, then just find 365 registered disciples to put on the list, and this tribulation can be largely resolved." The Jade Emperor snorted, then added: "Besides selecting immortals and deities for the Heavenly Court, this great tribulation requires 3,650 immortal beings from the three sects to perish, to balance the power of living beings. When you senior brothers discuss this Investiture of the Gods roster, you should also clearly delineate these predetermined casualties."

The Saints fell silent simultaneously, their gazes turning to Tongtian Cult Master, the Saint of the Jie Sect. Tongtian Cult Master calmly stated, "Each sect should distribute them equally." Jieyin Daoist, however, said, "My disciples are few, and the Western Sect has not many adherents. If the quotas are distributed equally, I fear our Western Sect will be wiped out." Just as Tongtian Cult Master was about to retort, Primordial Heavenly Venerable also frowned and said, "The immortals of Jade Purity Palace number only a few hundred." Saint Zhunti chuckled, "The Jie Sect boasts 'myriad immortals coming to court.' Why don't we allocate the number of casualties proportionally based on the number of disciples in each of the three sects?"

Tongtian Cult Master's expression immediately turned grim. "What, is it a sin that my Jie Sect has many disciples?" Saint Jieyin said, "If there are ten causes for this great tribulation, the Jie Sect accounts for eight." "In that case," Tongtian Cult Master conceded half a step, "the Heavenly Court divine positions, my Jie Sect will take on 300. As for the casualties, my Jie Sect will take on 1,000. How does that sound?" Li Changshou, who had remained silent on the side, sighed inwardly upon hearing this. This matter absolutely could not be conceded. If they showed weakness, it would only give the Western Sect an opportunity to exploit the situation. Indeed, Zhunti chuckled, "The Jie Sect, with its myriad immortals, would not suffer significant harm even if it took on three thousand." Primordial Heavenly Venerable slowly said, "Not enough."

Not enough? Tongtian Cult Master bristled with anger, stood up, and with a shake of his sleeves, sternly retorted: "Three hundred isn't enough, a thousand isn't enough! Senior Brother, do you truly intend to annihilate my Jie Sect? To kill all my disciples!" Primordial Heavenly Venerable sighed softly, closed his eyes, and remained silent. The atmosphere in the Purple Cloud Palace instantly became somewhat stagnant, and the sword intent of the Immortal Slaughtering Sword Formation diagram behind Tongtian Cult Master hummed. Suddenly, Taiqing Laozi's voice was heard: "Sit down." Tongtian Cult Master flicked his sleeve and sat down with a cold expression.

Then, Taiqing Saint glanced at Li Changshou. Li Changshou, who had originally not wanted to speak further and assumed today's meeting would end unhappily, could only step forward now. He exchanged a glance with the Jade Emperor, and both shared a knowing smile. Li Changshou took half a step forward and smiled, "His Majesty the Jade Emperor just made a somewhat unclear statement. Everyone, please don't rush. Allow this humble deity to ask His Majesty the Jade Emperor one more question. Your Majesty, you mentioned the 'three sects' just now, but it seems you didn't specify clearly." The Jade Emperor, with the script Li Changshou had given him decades ago running through his mind, calmly said: "What I just said, as revealed by the Investiture of the Gods, concerns the three Daoist sects. To be precise, it means at least 3,650 immortal beings from the Chan Sect and Jie Sect will perish. This includes not only the disciples of the two Saintly sects but also the immortal schools affiliated with their Daoist lineages. As for how many immortal beings will ultimately perish in this great tribulation... it is actually immeasurable." Upon hearing this, Tongtian Cult Master's face lit up with a smile, Primordial Heavenly Venerable's expression remained relatively calm, while the smiles of the two Saints from the Western Sect somewhat froze.

Li Changshou said, "Your Majesty, how do you intend to handle these 365 positions of righteous deities?" "Naturally, we will prioritize beings of virtue, strategy, wisdom, and good character, excluding those from the Western Sect." The Jade Emperor spoke, word for word, exactly as he had rehearsed: "Actually, senior brothers, you don't necessarily have to view the Investiture of the Gods as a Heavenly Dao treasure that claims lives. You can see it as a life-saving artifact for the revival of remnant souls." Primordial Heavenly Venerable said, "If one's name enters the Investiture of the Gods, they will be driven by karmic destiny and cannot escape death." The Jade Emperor pondered for a few moments but could not refute that.

Tongtian Cult Master said, "Senior Brother, why don't we first make an agreement that our direct disciples will not enter the Investiture of the Gods?" "Junior Brother," Primordial Heavenly Venerable frowned, "it's difficult to say for sure about this matter." Jieyin Daoist interjected from the side, "Listening to His Majesty the Jade Emperor, do these positions of blessed righteous deities not include anyone from our Western Sect?" "Correct," the Jade Emperor stated calmly. Saint Jieyin asked, "Does the Investiture of the Gods indicate this?" "No." The Jade Emperor said calmly, sitting cross-legged on his cushion, his star-like eyes gleaming, a gentle smile on his face, slowly stating, "It is I who have decided this."

Jieyin's brow furrowed, and he said firmly, "Your Majesty the Jade Emperor is going too far!" "Going too far?" The Jade Emperor raised an eyebrow and calmly said, "Chang Geng, please help me explain to Senior Brother Jieyin. I fear I might lose my temper and utter profanities in this sacred place of Master, insulting a Saint." "Yes," Li Changshou responded, stepping forward a few paces. He bowed to the two Saints of the Western Sect, his expression somewhat troubled.

Li Changshou frowned and said: "Esteemed Saints, please do not be offended. This humble deity is merely stating facts, not intentionally targeting anyone. Previously, when the Heavenly Court was not thriving, the Western Sect caused difficulties everywhere. Regarding the Dragon Race and the Demon Race, the two esteemed Saints indulged their Western Sect disciples in committing evil deeds and warring with the Heavenly Court, and also vigorously promoted their incense-worshipping cult. Their reputation is truly... If, during this tribulation, disciples from the Western Sect were to enter Heaven and become righteous deities of the Heavenly Court, what would the existing Heavenly Court deities think? What would the Dragon Race think? What would the beings of the Three Realms think? His Majesty the Jade Emperor made this decision, in truth, for the stability of the Three Realms and Heaven and Earth. I ask the two esteemed Saints to please bear with this."

Saint Zhunti coldly stated, "My actions are merely for the prosperity of the West. Many of these deeds were permitted by the Heavenly Dao." "This humble deity certainly dares not correct any errors or omissions in a Saint's words." Li Changshou straightened his back, his expression grim, divine light surging in his eyes, and the God-Beating Whip in his hand flashing with golden light. If he didn't offend the two Saints of the Western Sect today, they would still strike to destroy him if the opportunity arose. When it came to matters between the Western Sect and the Daoist Gate, he absolutely could not think of pleasing both sides! What he had to do in the future was to fully dedicate himself to maintaining the integrity of the Daoist Gate, keeping the internal conflicts between the Chan Sect and Jie Sect to a minimum, preserving the vital essence of the three Daoist sects, and seizing the opportunity to eradicate some of the Daoist Gate's chronic ailments. Towards the Western Sect, reasonable firmness would ensure stability, and reasonable clashes would make his teacher and Tongtian Cult Master stand more firmly behind him.

Thus, Li Changshou opened his mouth and uttered the word "but." "If for one's own prosperity, one can destroy other Daoist lineages, can arbitrarily suppress the Heavenly Court which brings order to the Three Realms and protects the weak; if for one's own prosperity, one can freely oppress weaker beings, can treat ordinary mortals who originally lived in peace as livestock; if for one's own prosperity, one can arbitrarily alter the cycle of life and death, stop at nothing in all matters, and forcibly increase one's own foundation... what will one gain after such prosperity? My Lords, times have changed."

Li Changshou paused, then calmly said, "Next, this discussion on the Daoist Gate's entry into the tribulation of Investiture of the Gods will be presided over by His Majesty the Jade Emperor. Do the two of you wish to excuse yourselves? After all, when the great tribulation officially commences in the future, the Western Sect and the Daoist Gate should be adversaries." The Great Saint of the Western Sect closed his eyes and remained silent, while the Lesser Saint frowned and stared at the Jade Emperor, not even sparing a glance for Li Changshou, let alone flicking his sleeve and leaving.

"Then, what about me?" Empress Nuwa asked with a smile from the side. Li Changshou immediately brightened into a smile, bowed to Empress Nuwa, and chuckled: "Martial Aunt, you are the Holy Mother of Humanity. This great tribulation began because of humanity, and our human race is even the protagonist of Heaven and Earth. Naturally, you must be present throughout to supervise. If the Heavenly Court does anything amiss, Martial Aunt, please remind us promptly. His Majesty the Jade Emperor also holds you in high regard." "Of course," the Jade Emperor stood up and bowed to Empress Nuwa, "Senior Sister, if the Heavenly Court acts improperly in the slightest during this great tribulation, please point it out promptly." Nuwa couldn't help but narrow her eyes in a smile, sitting firmly in her position. This coordinated performance by the ruler and subject, however, threw the contentious situation among the Saints into complete disarray.

Tongtian Cult Master sighed softly and said, "This Investiture of the Gods, Senior Brother, how do you intend to sign it?" Primordial Heavenly Venerable slowly stood up, looked at Tongtian Cult Master, and calmly said: "Each will rely on their own abilities and their own fortune. Let's discuss this matter another time." With that, he turned and walked away, Guangchengzi following behind him with his head bowed, his face calm and unmoved.