Chapter 77: Immortal Music Dance Floor

“Can’t you see I’m busy?” Li Banfeng grumbled as he tidied up the newspaper.

“Leaving home to save my beloved Li, who knew I’d become the top scholar? Oh, my dear husband, are you burning the midnight oil to become a top scholar?” She could even sing Huangmei Opera.

“I’m not trying to become a top scholar; I’m trying to see how many enemies I have,” Li Banfeng replied. His expression grew more serious the more he read the newspaper.

*Hiss, hiss...*The gramophone let out a puff of steam.

The gramophone clanked a couple of times, then sang rhythmically, “Fear not many enemies; if one comes, slay one, my husband. If two come, slay a pair. Don’t kill too ruthlessly; leave a breath, just enough to bring them home as a dish.”

“My dear, I thought the same,” Li Banfeng said, sitting beside the gramophone and touching the side of its wooden cabinet. “But my enemies are all stronger than me; they’re hard to kill. If I can’t kill them easily, your dishes will be hard to come by.”

*Hiss, hiss, hiss...*The gramophone let out a series of snickers.

Li Banfeng frowned and asked, “What are you laughing at?”

“Husband, your hand is on my armpit.”

Li Banfeng quickly withdrew his hand. *Was that an armpit just now? What about the other parts?* Li Banfeng ran his hand over the entire wooden cabinet, and the gramophone chuckled incessantly.

*Clank, clank, clank...* “Husband, stop playing around. Listen to me. Since you are a home cultivator, you shouldn’t wander around. Stay home and keep me company, and your cultivation will naturally progress!”

*Doesn’t she know I’m also a traveler cultivator?* Dark matter cannot be observed, making cultivation invisible. The gramophone probably really didn’t know he was a traveler cultivator.

Li Banfeng took out a purple elixir and asked, “My dear, I want to quickly improve my cultivation. Should this elixir be useful if I take it?”

“Where, where, where should I begin...” The gramophone sang a phrase, but the words seemed to stick.

“My dear, why are you stuck?” Li Banfeng asked with concern.

“Hu-hu-husband, please give your humble servant some machine oil.”

Li Banfeng quickly picked up the oil can and opened the back panel of the gramophone.

Inside the back panel, connecting rods and gears were densely packed; the mechanical structure was somewhat complex. Li Banfeng didn’t know where to start, so he just applied oil everywhere with the oil can.

“Husband, that gear is very important; don’t skimp on the oil...”“Husband, that drainage valve is crucial; don’t be reckless...”“Husband, be especially careful with that bearing; be very gentle...”“Husband...”“Husband...”

A few minutes later, Li Banfeng, holding the oil can, sat on the edge of the bed and calmly said, “My dear, let’s talk about serious matters now. I’m listening carefully.”

“Serious? Why so serious?” *Clank, clank...* The gramophone fell silent for a moment, then asked, “Husband, what about these trousers?”

“Of course, you’ll help me wash them,” Li Banfeng replied softly.

The gramophone puffed out a cloud of steam, seeming displeased, but didn’t mention Li Banfeng’s trousers again. *Clank, clank, clank...* “Oh, husband, this elixir is called Purple Rejuvenation Elixir. For ordinary people, its value is considerable, but for you, it’s useless.”

“How do you mean?”

“For ordinary people, consuming this single elixir is equivalent to gaining one month of cultivation.”

One month of cultivation? Li Banfeng’s heart contracted sharply. One Profound Blazing Elixir could grant ten days of cultivation and sell for 150,000. This Purple Rejuvenation Elixir provided one month of cultivation, so how much could it sell for? The key wasn’t the money; if he took a few more of these elixirs, his cultivation would advance significantly!

However, the gramophone sang, “Oh, husband, you are a home cultivator. Your cultivation relies on us, husband and wife, progressing together. Taking elixirs is useless for you!”

So, home cultivators couldn’t take elixirs. Ma Wu had also mentioned that home cultivators were special and their cultivation depended entirely on the home spirit.

“Since I can’t take it, then you should have this elixir, my dear,” Li Banfeng said, about to put the elixir into the gramophone’s water tank.

*Whoosh...*A puff of steam blocked Li Banfeng. The gramophone chuckled twice again.

“My husband is truly devoted, cherishing your humble servant so much, yet it overwhelms me. As for this elixir, husband, you should take it to the market and exchange it for money. The world views it as a treasure, but in my eyes, it’s no different from mud, sand, or broken tiles.”

*No different from mud, sand, or broken tiles?* This single elixir could probably sell for half a million.

Li Banfeng snorted and put the elixir away.

On second thought, if this elixir was useless for a home cultivator, could it be used by a traveler cultivator? Wouldn’t it be a good thing to improve his traveler cultivation? He’d make sure his dear wife didn’t see it and find an opportunity to take the elixir himself another day.

Li Banfeng went back to reading the newspaper. Perhaps because he had oiled the gramophone today, it seemed exceptionally concerned about him.

“Husband, tell me about your enemies’ backgrounds.”

Li Banfeng introduced a few people from the Jiangxiang Gang: “There’s a third-level martial cultivator named Red Baton, a second-level ascetic cultivator named Sage, and a second-level nightmare cultivator named Patrol Wind.”

*Hiss, hiss, hiss...*The gramophone sneered, “Oh, Red Baton handles fighting, Sage discerns people, and Patrol Wind keeps watch. After all these years, the rules of the major gangs haven’t changed. Husband, regarding that third-level martial cultivator, you really shouldn’t provoke him. In a direct fight, you’re no match for him. The ascetic cultivation path is quite special; it counters home cultivators, so husband, you should also keep your distance from him. As for this nightmare cultivator, you absolutely cannot spare him. Even though he’s only second-level, husband, you actually have a good chance of winning against him.”

This perfectly aligned with Li Banfeng’s thoughts.

Li Banfeng nodded. “I have the Yin-Yang Eye, which gives me some restraint over him. He was the first opponent I chose. However, since he’s second-level, a direct confrontation would still put me at a disadvantage.”

“Oh, husband, a direct confrontation is not advisable. First, you need to clear away the minor spirits around him. Since he is in the dance hall, your humble servant has a plan.”

“I’m eager to hear your brilliant plan, my dear.”

“Husband, lean closer!”Li Banfeng pressed his ear against the gramophone’s horn, listening as it slowly sang “Songstress of the Horizon”: “Oh, husband, buy a blank record, top-quality vinyl, and pair it with a hard stylus.”After hearing it, Li Banfeng’s ear was red from the steam. *A hard stylus?*

“My dear, are you trying to engrave a record?” Li Banfeng understood the gramophone’s intention.

*Clank, clank...* “Husband, you are absolutely right.”

Li Banfeng nodded, rubbing his reddened ear. “It’s just you and me in this room, and no one’s eavesdropping. Why do you have to whisper right into my ear?”

The gramophone pouted coyly, “Whispering intimately shows our affection as husband and wife!”

...

The next day at noon, Li Banfeng went to Yuanzheng Street and bought a blank record and two hard styluses at a record store.

Late that night, Li Banfeng, dressed in a beige checkered suit and wearing a gray fedora, arrived at the Celestial Music Dance Hall.

The Celestial Music Dance Hall was easy to find, located at the end of Paifang Street. It occupied a large open space, which was entirely the dance hall’s garden, with no other buildings nearby.

As a naive young man, Li Banfeng firmly believed the Celestial Music Dance Hall was a place for dedicated music study.

The place indeed did not disappoint Li Banfeng. It was a three-story, pointed-roof Western-style house, a brick-and-wood structure combining Chinese and Western architectural styles. The first floor had long, straight lines, giving it a spacious and grand feel. The second floor had rounded, soft lines, appearing more layered. The third floor’s lines converged sharply towards the pointed roof, creating distinct angles.

Such an artistic building surely conducted legitimate business.

After ascending the stone steps in front of the door, two young women approached the archway to welcome guests.

“Sir, this way. Do you have a preferred lady?”

Li Banfeng smiled slightly, “It’s my first time here.”

The two women smiled shyly and led Li Banfeng into the hall. *Just because they asked about a ‘preferred lady’ didn’t mean the business wasn’t legitimate. The ladies might also be here to study music.*

In the hall, candlelight was dim, and music played softly. Several couples were embracing and dancing on the red carpet. Seeing how tightly they embraced, Li Banfeng assumed it was a normal expression of being immersed in the music.

All his attention was on the music; he was searching for the source of the melody. There was no band in the hall, so where was the music coming from?

Beside the staircase, Li Banfeng spotted a massive gramophone. A man in a plain white suit was slowly rotating the gramophone’s crank arm. This was a hand-cranked gramophone, where the speed of the music depended entirely on the operator’s skill, which required considerable expertise.

Li Banfeng’s brow relaxed, and a faint smile appeared on his face. This was the gramophone he was looking for. Without it, his trip would have been in vain.

A woman approached him, smiling sweetly, and asked, “Sir, would you like to dance?”

From an etiquette standpoint, Li Banfeng shouldn’t refuse a lady’s invitation to dance. However, the education Li Banfeng had received since childhood prevented him from doing so. Because he couldn’t dance.

“I’m sorry, miss, I don’t know how to dance,” Li Banfeng replied truthfully.

“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you,” the woman said, taking Li Banfeng’s hand and leading him to the center of the dance floor. She had him wrap his arms around her slender waist, and they slowly swayed to the music.

Dancing wasn’t difficult; he just needed to hold her close and step with the music. As a traveler cultivator, Li Banfeng’s steps were very steady. This was a kind-hearted young woman; her kindness pulsed with the music in Li Banfeng’s embrace. *But if we’re just dancing, stop constantly touching me.*

Li Banfeng’s gaze never left the gramophone. He found it much more attractive than the young woman.

PS: I think all you esteemed readers are the most attractive. Come chat with Shala.