Chapter 299: Oil Kettle

"My dear husband," the phonograph said, "the essence of the 'Steadfast as a Residence' technique lies in visualizing your own home, making your body feel substantial and weighty."

You must think of your house, allowing your body to become solid and heavy.

The process of this visualization is a bit complex.

His wife adjusted the light's angle, projecting an image of a grand mansion onto the wall.

"An excellent residence prioritizes solidity and robustness. It provides shelter from wind and rain in peacetime and repels invaders during war. No matter if it's a dragon's den or a tiger's lair, a mountain of blades or a sea of fire, all dangers remain outside the walls. As long as one is within their residence, a House Cultivator has nothing to fear."

Li Banfeng felt this deeply.

For a House Cultivator, as long as they are inside their own house, they wouldn't even fear traversing the universe.

The phonograph continued, "My dear husband, imagine yourself as your own residence. Concentrate all of your home's solidity and weight onto your body, making your physique indestructible."

He understood the process, but Li Banfeng found it difficult.

He couldn't visualize his own residence; he had never seen the complete shape of his portable dwelling.

What could he do?

He decided to ignore the true appearance of his portable dwelling and simply imagine a sturdy mansion!

Li Banfeng tried twice, but his body showed no change.

The phonograph reminded him, "My dear husband, you *must* think of our own house. Thinking of an outsider's residence is useless."

It had to be his own house.

What about imagining a steam train?

Come to think of it, a steam train was quite sturdy too.

Li Banfeng tried a few more times, and he indeed felt some changes in his body. It was as if a layer of heavy iron armor had settled upon him.

This time, it seemed he had succeeded. With this armor, his defensive power would skyrocket.

Li Banfeng tried it several times and felt that he was using the technique very skillfully.

"My dear wife, I've learned enough. I'm going to buy groceries," Li Banfeng said, trying to leave, but was blocked by steam.

"Don't rush, my dear husband. Let me test you first."

A test would be good.

Li Banfeng tried to anticipate the phonograph's stylus attack trajectory.

Having spent so much time together, Li Banfeng had some understanding of his wife's attack habits.

Moreover, this was a sparring match between husband and wife; his wife surely wouldn't be ruthless. There was no need to worry about vital points; she would most likely poke him in a less critical spot...

Whoosh!

Li Banfeng was scalded bright red all over by his wife's steam.

"Oh, dear husband! I only used a fraction of my strength, and you couldn't block it. Your technique wasn't activated at all," the phonograph chided.

Li Banfeng mused for a moment, then said, "I thought you were going to use the stylus to poke me. Who knew you'd scald me with steam?"

The phonograph chuckled mockingly, "Oh, dear husband, are you still unconvinced? I said it would be a life-or-death strike, but I never said I had to use a sharp weapon."

Li Banfeng tickled the phonograph's 'armpit.' "My darling wife, you've become naughty," he said.

The phonograph giggled for a while. "My dear husband, stop messing around and focus on learning the technique."

His wife was right. In a real confrontation, it's hard to predict what methods an opponent might use.

Just being hard isn't enough. It needs to be fire-resistant, high-temperature resistant, corrosion-resistant... he had to consider every aspect.

Li Banfeng calmed himself, thinking through every detail for over half an hour. He then said to the phonograph, "This time, I'm ready. My dear wife, just make your move."

The phonograph nodded, "Your stance is good, dear husband. The technique seems to be activated, but it might not be useful."

Li Banfeng couldn't understand. "If it's activated, why would you say it's useless?"

"Oh, dear husband, allow me to give an example," the phonograph cleared its throat, and then gongs and drums suddenly erupted, "Vast righteous energy soared to the heavens, startling the cold, glittering stars!"

An excerpt from the Peking Opera 'Battle of Red Cliffs,' titled 'Heroic Farewell.'

Li Banfeng fell to the ground with a thud.

The technique truly hadn't been effective.

Li Banfeng had forgotten to make himself soundproof.

The 'Heroic Farewell' was sung with such power that Li Banfeng trembled all over and broke out in a cold sweat.

If his wife had added even a little more strength, Li Banfeng's ears would have been permanently deafened.

After he calmed down, Li Banfeng, still panting, said, "Let's do it again!"

"Oh, dear husband, we can't do it again today. Try to use your thoughts; I'm afraid you won't be able to exert any strength now."

Li Banfeng once again imagined himself as a steam train, but this time his body felt no change.

"The 'Steadfast as a Residence' technique can only be used once a day. My dear husband, you didn't activate it the first time, and you barely managed it the second time. You won't be able to use it again before tomorrow."

Li Banfeng was unwilling to give up, looking at the phonograph and saying, "My dear wife, you know me. Two or three times means nothing to me."

The phonograph chuckled, "My dear husband, don't be so stubborn. Get some rest first."

He says I'm stubborn...

In a fit of anger, Li Banfeng pulled out the oil can.

The phonograph trembled. "Oh, dear husband, my precious husband! I didn't mean to mock you. I truly want you to rest. It was my oversight for speaking too much. Can't I just admit I was wrong? My dear husband, gently now, aim carefully..."

His wife's voice became indistinct.

Hong Ying sneered, "That madman went to the wrong place again. May you suffer, you wicked woman!"

***

At the center of the grand ballroom in the Paramount Club, Lu Maoxian's eldest son, Lu Dongtang, held a cup of tea with both hands and presented it to Lu Chunying in front of all the elders and youngsters of the clan.

Lu Maoxian's vendetta had been avenged by Lu Chunying, a daughter of the main clan. According to the Lu family's rules, Lu Maoxian was supposed to offer tea as a token of gratitude.

Lu Maoxian claimed his injuries hadn't healed and he couldn't get out of bed, so he had his eldest son, Lu Dongtang, offer the tea in his stead. Lu Chunying gladly accepted.

The occasion was grand today, with many attendees. Even Madam Duan Shaoxia, from the main clan, was present.

Lu Chunying took the teacup from Lu Dongtang, took a sip, and placed it aside.

She stared at Lu Dongtang for a moment, then had someone bring another cup of tea.

"You are my elder, Uncle Dongtang. I offer you this cup of tea," Lu Chunying said, handing the teacup to Lu Dongtang.

Lu Chunying didn't need to return the gesture, but this was Monkey Qiu's arrangement, meant to showcase the magnanimity of a main clan daughter.

Lu Dongtang's face turned ashen. He drank the tea and returned to his seat.

No matter how uncomfortable he felt, he had to remain seated.

It wasn't just him who was uncomfortable; his entire family was suffering with him. Lu Dongtang's youngest daughter, Lu Yuanju, was almost grinding her teeth.

She was slightly older than Lu Chunying. When she learned yesterday that her father had to offer tea to a mere girl as a thank-you, Lu Yuanju was so furious she couldn't sleep all night.

She had long prepared for revenge. Although she hadn't yet entered a Daoist sect, she knew a good deal about their rules.

She knew that ordinary people attempting to cultivate three Daoist sects concurrently would surely die.

Reasoning from this characteristic, she devised a brilliant plan to deal with Lu Chunying.

She prepared three kinds of medicinal powders. Once the banquet dispersed, she would sprinkle them all on Lu Chunying!

"By seniority, I'm her elder sister, so she definitely won't suspect me."

"Afterward, I'll just say I wanted to join a Daoist sect myself, hadn't chosen the right powders yet, and accidentally sprinkled them on that girl."

Lu Yuanju looked at Lu Dongtang's expression and secretly clenched her fists.

*Don't be sad!*

*I'll bear the crime of offending the main clan for you!*

*Let's see what the main clan can do to me!*

Two hours later, the banquet concluded.

Lu Chunying was still exchanging pleasantries with various Lu family relatives.

"Miss Chunying, I truly admire you. We waited all night and didn't even see the person, but you handled it with a single move!"

Lu Chunying humbly smiled, "I'm only so young and have so little cultivation. It's all thanks to the efforts of you esteemed elders."

Not taking credit or being arrogant, and subtly hinting at her background, Lu Chunying's tactful words greatly pleased Monkey Qiu.

Everyone echoed, "Miss Chunying is both courageous and resourceful, and so magnanimous! In the future, if you need anything, just command us. Our entire family will obey the main clan's orders."

Leaving the Paramount Club, cars were waiting outside. Just as Lu Chunying was about to get in, she heard someone call from behind, "Sister Chunying, wait! I have something for you."

Lu Chunying turned around to find it was Lu Yuanju. "Sister Yuanju, what is it?"

Lu Yuanju reached into her shoulder bag. "A friend brought back a necklace from another province. They say the craftsmanship is quite good. She brought two, so I'll give you one."

"Really!" Lu Chunying's eyes widened as she looked at Lu Yuanju's bag, her right hand subtly drawing a folding fan from her waist.

Lu Yuanju grabbed the three bags of powder, abruptly pulled them out, and flung the powders towards Lu Chunying.

Lu Chunying was already prepared. Tapping her toes, she retreated a few steps, dodging the powders.

She unfurled her folding fan and waved it back and forth at Lu Yuanju.

All three types of powder drifted onto Lu Yuanju's face, making her writhe on the ground in pain.

Monkey Qiu shielded Lu Chunying behind him. Tan Fucheng stared at Lu Yuanju in astonishment and asked in a low voice, "What kind of medicine did she sprinkle?"

Monkey Qiu was also shocked. "It seems to be entry-level initiation powder."

Tan Fucheng didn't understand. "Why would she sprinkle that?"

Monkey Qiu couldn't figure it out, but Lu Chunying said, "She probably wanted me to get exposed to several types of initiation powders, then kill me."

Tan Fucheng frowned. "Who gave her such a terrible idea? An uninitiated novice like her, trying to throw initiation powder at a cultivator? If she truly had the ability to sprinkle powder on someone else, wouldn't it be better to throw two pounds of poison instead?"

Lu Dongtang rushed out. Seeing his daughter covered in powder, he quickly ordered someone to call a doctor.

The doctor looked at Lu Yuanju, hesitant to touch her. The powder was incredibly painful if it got on one's hands.

Lu Chunying asked Tan Fucheng, "Brother Tan, is she now cultivating three Daoist sects concurrently?"

Tan Fucheng chuckled, "Cultivating three sects? What nonsense. Does she even have the foundation for that? She doesn't even have enough foundation for one Daoist sect. What good would the powders do her?"

Seeing Lu Yuanju struggling less, Lu Chunying asked, "She's not going to die, is she?"

Tan Fucheng shook his head. "Hard to say. Initiation powders are harmful, and three types of powder would cause severe injury. If she had even one level of cultivation, she might have endured it. But she's uninitiated and covered herself with so much powder. Even if she doesn't die, she'll be crippled. What on earth was she thinking?"

Lu Dongtang had people carry Lu Yuanju away. Duan Shaoxia walked out from inside the Paramount Club.

"Chunying, you handled this matter gracefully today. You've brought honor to Dongliang," Duan Shaoxia praised Lu Chunying repeatedly, her eyes filled with tenderness.

Lu Chunying quickly bowed, "Thank you for your kind words, Madam."

Duan Shaoxia smiled, "This child is so sensible. Zhiheng, don't let Chunying live outside. Have her move back home."

Qiu Zhiheng looked at Lu Chunying but said nothing.

Lu Chunying bowed to Duan Shaoxia again, "Madam, I'm currently intensifying my cultivation these days. Please allow me to postpone moving for a while."

She neither agreed nor refused.

Her tact was impeccable.

Duan Shaoxia nodded repeatedly, still full of praise for Lu Chunying. Unbeknownst to her, a blood vessel burst in her eye.

Lu Chunying never lifted her head, consistently avoiding Duan Shaoxia's eyes.

***

Li Banfeng sat in his portable dwelling, feeling quite down.

He had sparred with his wife (the phonograph) for two full days and hadn't won once.

The phonograph sighed, "My dear husband, perhaps we should stop. The 'Steadfast as a Residence' technique requires time to hone."

It truly did need honing.

His wife's attack methods were bizarre and countless; there was always something Li Banfeng hadn't anticipated.

One time, after he had finally thought of almost everything, he was still unprepared when his wife's burst of steam scalded him bright red all over.

"My dear husband, in a real fight, life and death are decided in an instant. If it takes you an hour to prepare, I'm afraid it won't work," the phonograph remarked.

Li Banfeng looked at the phonograph and smiled.

The phonograph shivered, thinking Li Banfeng was going to oil it again.

Li Banfeng didn't apply oil. He wanted to go for a walk.

Having stayed home for two days, he had neglected his cultivation as a traveler-cultivator.

Additionally, Li Banfeng wanted to go out and collect some materials to prepare for his next use of the projector.

The phonograph broke out in a cold sweat. Hong Ying, nearby, chuckled, "Who would have thought that madman would spare you? Last night, though, I still heard him shouting 'oil can, oil can!' in his sleep!"

Li Banfeng stepped outside, and with one foot, he suddenly plunged into a slippery, bottomless abyss.

Slippery...

What could be so slippery?

This is... oil?

Large quantities of grease kept surging into his mouth, nose, and eyes.

Had he fallen into a pot of oil?

Li Banfeng kicked his legs vigorously, swimming upward through the oily liquid until he reached the surface.

He looked around.

There was land, a shoreline, and a small island.

This wasn't a pot of oil; it was a lake, a lake made entirely of oil.

How did he get here?