Chapter 181: Eating for Free

Li Banfeng returned to Chu Er's residence. Seeing Chu Er still sound asleep, he quietly entered his portable dwelling.

His wife exclaimed, "Oh dear, husband, how did you get so badly injured?"

Li Banfeng was indeed severely injured, his face bruised and swollen almost beyond recognition.

"Wife, I have a question for you. Do you know of Bitter Grandma?"

"Bitter Grandma? Which Bitter Grandma?"

"Bitter Grandma from Bitter Vegetable Village."

Li Banfeng had asked everyone about this: his Wine Gourd, Tang Blade, and even his Judge's Brush. None of the magical artifacts he possessed recognized Bitter Grandma.

Perhaps some memories had vanished with their souls, or perhaps they simply hadn't known much about Bitter Vegetable Village to begin with.

It seemed only his wife knew about it.

The gramophone whirred.

"Bitter Grandma from Bitter Vegetable Village!"

"Yes," Li Banfeng nodded, "Is she the local deity of Bitter Vegetable Village?"

The gramophone whirred.

"Oh dear, oh dear, she's not a local deity."

His wife knew Bitter Grandma, but her tone was a bit strange.

"Oh dear, oh dear, but if she's not a local deity, then what could she be?"

Why was his wife asking him back?

Li Banfeng reached along the phonograph needle's arm and tickled his wife's side. "Wife, are you alright?"

His wife didn't laugh. Why wasn't she ticklish anymore?

Hiss, hiss, hiss!

Steam rapidly spewed out, gears spun wildly, and the flames in the oil tank shot up high.

Li Banfeng quickly added water to the tank, fearing his wife would overheat and burn out.

What was wrong with his wife?

"Oh dear, oh dear, if she's not a local deity, then what could she be? What could she be? Hahahaha!"

His wife suddenly burst into maniacal laughter, filling the entire main room with steam.

"Wife, what's wrong with you?" Li Banfeng grew anxious.

"Who are you?" The gramophone's voice became flat, its singing tone exceptionally cold.

Li Banfeng replied, "I am your husband."

"Oh dear, husband, are you back from buying groceries?" His wife's tone softened again.

"Today... I didn't buy any groceries."

"Since you didn't buy groceries, then you're not my husband. My husband never lets me go hungry. Who exactly are you?"

Li Banfeng didn't know how to answer. Suddenly, a whirlwind blew in from the outer room, and Red Lotus swept Li Banfeng inside, shutting the door tightly.

A series of explosions sounded from outside the door. Li Banfeng worried his wife might be in trouble.

Once the sounds subsided slightly, Li Banfeng immediately exited the room, finding the gramophone unharmed, though the room was exceptionally hot and stuffy.

"Wife?" Li Banfeng called out.

Hiss, hiss!

After several puffs of steam, the gramophone responded, "Oh dear, husband."

Good, she still recognized him.

Li Banfeng breathed a slight sigh of relief.

Hiss, hiss!

"Husband, are you back from buying groceries?"

Li Banfeng didn't know how to answer.

He saw the Singer Flower standing against the wall. If necessary, he could feed her to his wife.

But she only had spiritual essence left; her soul had already been consumed. Would his wife still be interested?

As he hesitated, his wife suddenly asked, "Husband, who injured you like this?"

That question again.

Had his wife lost her memory?

Had she forgotten what just happened?

He couldn't answer casually this time.

If he said he was injured by a fierce person, and his wife asked who it was, she might recall Bitter Grandma and go mad again.

He needed to distract his wife as much as possible, to prevent her from associating it with Bitter Grandma.

"It was a few petty thieves. They outnumbered me, and I was overwhelmed and injured."

"What kind of petty thieves?" His wife was furious. "Were they travel cultivators? If so, bring them home! I'll kill them, hahahaha, I'll kill them!"

Li Banfeng shook his head. "No, they weren't travel cultivators."

"Even if they're not travel cultivators, bring them home! Anyone who harms my husband deserves to die! Your little servant will kill them all! Hahahaha!"

His wife was still not quite normal.

Li Banfeng placated her, "Yes, kill them all. Wife, are you tired? If you're weary, you should rest for a while."

The gramophone yawned.

"Don't mention it, I am a bit tired. Husband, you can go look for those petty thieves later. Let your little servant rest for a moment."

While his wife was still awake, Li Banfeng took out the old teapot and said to her, "I'm now a Rank Four House Cultivator. The seal on this artifact should be able to be removed."

"Oh dear, this teapot's rank is too high. Unsealing it now might be detrimental to my husband."

"Wife, you're too cautious. Zhong Desong was only Rank Two back then, and he used it all the time, didn't he?"

"He was a bitter cultivator; he could endure the teapot's torment. Very well, please bring the teapot, husband. Your little servant will have a word with him first."

Li Banfeng brought the teapot close to the gramophone. Although he possessed the technique of perceiving spiritual sounds, the two spoke too quickly for Li Banfeng to understand. He only saw the record constantly spinning on the platter, with frequent bursts of dense gongs and drums from the horn.

His wife was intimidating the teapot; they were likely discussing its terms.

After waiting for more than five minutes, his wife exhaled a puff of steam. "The matter has been settled. The artifact's terms are still required. Previously, its cost was too high; each use would scald its master. But now the terms have changed; it only requires husband to take a hot bath."

Li Banfeng looked at the teapot. "Isn't that the same thing?"

"Husband, don't worry. The bathwater won't be too hot, and it won't harm you."

Use an artifact and get a free bath? Could there be such a good deal?

Li Banfeng was very suspicious of the teapot's intentions. His wife yawned and said, "Husband, your little servant is truly tired. I'm going to sleep now."

After his wife fell asleep, Li Banfeng took the teapot to the fifth room.

The fifth room was at the end of the third room, the farthest room from the gramophone.

The room was empty. The fifth room had only recently been opened, and Li Banfeng hadn't furnished it yet. He held the teapot in his hand and asked, "Do you know Bitter Vegetable Village?"

The teapot replied, "I know. All the world's bitter cultivators originate from Bitter Vegetable Village."

Li Banfeng frowned. "Don't all cultivators in the world originate from the peddler's medicinal powder?"

"Hehe, not necessarily. Besides the peddler, there are many other sources of medicinal powder. Wealthy families store a lot of powders for literary and martial cultivation, and these aren't bought from the peddler."

Ma Wu had indeed mentioned that prominent families stored medicinal powder, but not from the peddler. So where did it come from?

"This old man doesn't know about the affairs of wealthy families, but the medicinal powders for bitter cultivation all come from Bitter Vegetable Village. Bitter Vegetable Village has no boundaries; it borders all parts of Prolific Province. Anyone who wishes to come can come. If they stay in Bitter Vegetable Village's Common Eatery for three days and can endure the hardship, Bitter Grandma will give them the medicinal powder, and from then on, they will be considered to have entered the Daoist sect."

"Anyone who just shows up gets medicinal powder? Without accumulating Daoist affinity?"

"Bitter Vegetable Village is a special place. Staying there for three days is considered enough to accumulate Daoist affinity."

"Similar to Three-Headed Fork?"

"Far from it! Three-Headed Fork is not somewhere you should go. What you accumulate there might not necessarily be Daoist affinity. Youngster, you just asked about Bitter Grandma. Don't tell me you've already arrived at Bitter Vegetable Village?"

Li Banfeng didn't deny it. "I'm in Bitter Vegetable Village right now and can't leave. Bitter Grandma won't let me go; she says she wants to temper me."

"Since she won't let you leave, just stay in the village for a few days. We don't even have a calendar in this house, so I don't know what month it is, but she only stays for a maximum of three months a year. Once she leaves, you can leave too. Don't argue with her, and definitely don't fight her. You're no match for her. A thousand of you, ten thousand of you, would be no match for her."

A thousand, ten thousand...

Isn't that an exaggeration?

What level of being was she?

Could a local deity suppress her?

"My wife said she's not the local deity of Bitter Vegetable Village. So who is the local deity of Bitter Vegetable Village?"

"Bitter Vegetable Village originally had a local deity, but not anymore. Furthermore, don't even compare local deities to Bitter Grandma. They're not worthy."

Local deities aren't worthy?

"What level of cultivation does Bitter Grandma possess?"

The teapot coughed twice. "Youngster, I am your magical artifact. I won't hesitate in battle, but I have my own disposition. I don't wish to be anyone's servant. If you respect me, we can consider ourselves friends despite our age difference. You call me 'Old Brother,' and I'll call you 'Younger Brother.' If you don't respect me, then call me 'old man,' and I'll still fulfill my duties without fail. I don't remember much, but what I do recall, I'll naturally tell you. I've mostly forgotten about Bitter Grandma. Don't ask about what I've forgotten."

Although Li Banfeng still didn't entirely trust the teapot, he agreed with its desire for an equal relationship.

"Old Brother, I won't ask about Bitter Grandma anymore. Please tell me a bit more about Bitter Vegetable Village. I'll be staying here for over two months. What should I pay attention to during this time?"

"You must remember three rules. The first rule is hardship. In Bitter Vegetable Village, you must be able to endure hardship. Never think of seeking pleasure here. Don't drink alcohol, don't smoke, don't think about eating well, and don't think about sleeping with women. Your house is a bit special; it's fine to enjoy yourself with your wives in here. But once you leave this house and are in the village, you must abide by the rules. Outside Bitter Vegetable Village, there's plenty of fun waiting for you. Don't jeopardize important matters for a moment of pleasure."

"What happens if I jeopardize important matters?"

"If I recall correctly, there are only two outcomes for those who break the rules in Bitter Vegetable Village. Those Bitter Grandma doesn't want to keep will be expelled from the village. Those she wants to keep will be sent to the New Land. Younger Brother, I don't know much about your affairs outside, but I guess you've probably been to the New Land and know how perilous it is. The New Land of Bitter Vegetable Village is exceptionally dangerous. If Bitter Grandma sends you there, she won't allow you back into Bitter Vegetable Village. You'd likely have to stay in the New Land for life. Weigh the pros and cons yourself."

Go to the New Land!

That's great!

That way, I could walk back to Blue Willow Village.

As he pondered this, he suddenly heard the teapot speak again. "The second rule is no asking about origins. In the village, don't ask about anyone's background, not even their names. This is an unwritten rule."

"What happens if I break this rule?"

"Nothing dire, but you'll be disliked. Everyone who comes to Bitter Vegetable Village is here to suffer. Their outside identities are irrelevant to village affairs. The third rule is no killing. In Bitter Vegetable Village, even Bitter Grandma herself doesn't kill anyone. You absolutely cannot break this rule. The first time I went to Bitter Vegetable Village, two people fought over food. One died, and the other disappeared that very night. No one knows where he went, or if he's dead or alive. Killing in Bitter Vegetable Village always results in this."

No wonder Li Banfeng sensed great danger when he considered killing Chu Er.

This also served as a warning to Li Banfeng: he could cause trouble in Bitter Vegetable Village, but he absolutely couldn't cause any deaths.

However, this was also good news. If Li Banfeng caused trouble here, Bitter Grandma wouldn't kill him.

The old teapot continued, "As long as you don't break these three rules, Bitter Grandma generally won't interfere with other matters."

Li Banfeng asked the teapot, "It's a rare chance to revisit old grounds. Do you want to go back and see?"

"Younger Brother, I still stand by what I said: if you want to fight in Bitter Vegetable Village, I won't hesitate when it's time to act. But if you don't want to fight, it's best not to make me go to Bitter Vegetable Village. Don't let me set foot in there again."

He harbored deep resentment towards Bitter Vegetable Village.

Li Banfeng put away the teapot and went to the main room to sleep.

The teapot was different from other magical artifacts.

It seemed to have something extra compared to other artifacts.

The next morning, Li Banfeng emerged from his portable dwelling, put away the key, and saw Chu Er peering around from atop a wall.

Li Banfeng walked up behind him and barked, "What are you looking at?!"

Chu Er shivered and fell heavily from the wall. "What are you doing? Are you trying to scare me to death?"

Li Banfeng questioned him, "What are you doing skulking around on the wall?"

"Wasn't I looking for you? Who knows where you ran off to this morning? Tomorrow is the day for free meals. Come with me quickly; don't wait for Bitter Grandma to come and torment you again."

Outside the door, Li Banfeng walked and asked, "What does 'free meals' mean?"

"It means everyone in the village will go to the Common Eatery tomorrow and eat for free for a whole day."

Such a good thing exists?

"Still eating steamed buns?"

Chu Er gave a bitter smile. "It would be great if there were steamed buns. At the Common Eatery, we have to eat rice."

"Isn't rice better than steamed buns?"

"You'll know when you get there."

"Meals start tomorrow, and we're leaving today? Isn't that too early?"

"There's only one Common Eatery in the entire Bitter Vegetable Village. My place is considered close. Those who live far away have to set off three days in advance."

The entire Bitter Vegetable Village going to one place to eat? How big could that eatery be?

Li Banfeng followed Chu Er for a day and a night. In reality, the Common Eatery wasn't that far, only about eighty li away.

But Chu Er wasn't a travel cultivator and couldn't walk as fast as Li Banfeng. Moreover, the path was difficult, and the wind and sand were particularly strong. By the time they reached the Common Eatery, it was almost dawn.

Everyone from Bitter Vegetable Village gathered in front of the Common Eatery, waiting for the meal to begin.

The so-called Common Eatery wasn't a grand restaurant; it was just a large mud house, barely able to fit seven or eight large tables inside.

Could this accommodate everyone from Bitter Vegetable Village?

It actually could.

Li Banfeng roughly counted, and there were only a little over sixty people in front of the Common Eatery.

"Aren't there still many who haven't arrived?"

Chu Er looked around. "Almost everyone is here."

"Are there only this many people in Bitter Vegetable Village?"

"That's quite a few. There aren't many bitter cultivators to begin with, and even fewer are willing to return to Bitter Vegetable Village to cultivate. Anyone with a bit of status wouldn't come here without reason."

At seven in the morning, the Common Eatery opened. The uncle serving the food ladled a bowl of rice for each person, accompanied by Bitter Vegetable Village's signature bitter greens.

Li Banfeng took a bite of the plain rice, crunched twice, carefully discerning the ratio of sand to rice.

Fifty percent sand, fifty percent rice?

No, it felt like there was even more sand.

Li Banfeng wanted to spit it out, but Chu Er quickly stopped him. "You can't spit it out. You'll get beaten if you do."

Li Banfeng swallowed the food and placed his bowl on the ground. "I'm full."

Chu Er shook his head. "You can't leave any leftovers. You'll get beaten if you do!"

The uncle serving the food was looking their way, a clear look of anger in his eyes.

Li Banfeng still put the bowl down.

Chu Er was terrified. "Don't cause trouble! The server is coming over."

"So he's going to hit me, is he?" Li Banfeng stood up. "Fine, I'll fight him!"

It wasn't that he couldn't endure the hardship; it was that he couldn't stand this insult.

Why would you mix sand into perfectly good rice?

There was a pile of grain on the empty lot behind the Common Eatery. Bitter Vegetable Village didn't have many people, and there was clearly enough food. Why were they tormenting people like this?

The angry uncle serving the food stomped towards them, took two steps, then angrily stomped back.

Li Banfeng was ready to fight, wondering why the server wasn't approaching.

Chu Er lowered his head and shoveled down his rice, not daring to utter a sound.

It seemed someone else had appeared beside him.

Li Banfeng looked back and saw Bitter Grandma standing behind him.

Inside the Common Eatery, everyone bowed their heads, not daring to move.

They knew who had arrived, and they knew Li Banfeng was about to face trouble.

Bitter Grandma looked at Li Banfeng and said calmly, "You refuse to eat when there's food. It seems you still haven't been tempered enough."

It seemed he was in for another beating.

But even if he got beaten, Li Banfeng wouldn't eat that bowl of rice.

Mixing sand into perfectly good rice was simply meant to disgust people!

Seeing Li Banfeng's stubbornness, Bitter Grandma didn't hit him.

She took a bitter vegetable from her pocket. "Ultimately, you're someone who can't endure hardship. If you won't eat the rice, eat this vegetable."

Chu Er squatted on the ground and tugged at Li Banfeng's trousers.

"Seventh Master, I beg you, please eat it. Don't tempt fate any further."