Chapter 170: New Year's Eve Dinner

Although the New Year holiday was over, a strong festive atmosphere still lingered inside the Portable Dwelling.

A layer of mist had formed on the gramophone's horn, and swirls of steam continuously brushed against the enormous locust head before them.

"Clang-a-lang!" Madam Bug Overlord sang out two words in a slow tempo, drawing out the syllables.

Li Banfeng had never heard the term before. "What is a Bug Overlord?" he asked.

"One of the leaders among insect cultivators," she explained, "even more formidable than a local earth god. Wait... this isn't just an ordinary Bug Overlord. Let your servant smell this. This thing seems to have gained some other fortune or blessing. No mistake, no mistake, it definitely has a blessing bestowed by someone else. This is a good thing, truly a good thing!"

The antennae on the enormous locust head were still slowly twitching. The insect seemed to still be alive, and it was terrified.

The mist on the horn grew thicker, and Madam found it hard to suppress her appetite, though she was still a little concerned about the origin of the head.

"Oh, my dear husband, where did this Bug Overlord's head come from?"

Li Banfeng told the truth. "A peddler sold it to me," he said.

"A peddler? Sold it to you?" The gramophone didn't quite believe it. "How could a peddler sell you something like this? Husband, this is no laughing matter."

Li Banfeng's face showed displeasure. "When have I ever joked?" he retorted. "The peddler sold it to me; he asked for twenty, and I said, 'Will you sell it for fifteen?' He said yes."

"Da-da-da-da! Hoo-sh! Hoo-sh!" Madam's understanding faltered; she suspected Li Banfeng had gone mad.

"Husband, when you said fifteen and twenty just now, you didn't mean Huan Kingdom currency, did you?"

"Yes, Huan Kingdom currency."

"You mean fifteen and twenty *billion*, right? Can you really afford that much money?"

Li Banfeng puffed out his chest. "How could I have that much money?" he replied. "I only spent fifteen yuan."

"Hoo-sh! Hoo-sh!" A cloud of steam enveloped Li Banfeng, filled with Madam's tender affection. "Husband, our conjugal love is deep, and there's never been any suspicion between us. It's just that your servant's body isn't strong enough, so I haven't been able to consummate our marriage with you. Please don't mind, husband."

Li Banfeng, with a magnanimous expression, smiled slightly. "Actually, I do mind quite a bit," he said. "If we never consummate our marriage, how can we be a proper couple? But if I can apply machine oil once a day, then this matter isn't entirely non-negotiable."

As he spoke, Li Banfeng picked up the oil can and opened the gramophone's back cover.

"Oh, husband, let's not talk about the machine oil for now. This machine oil truly is... no, no, not lacking..."

Although her singing voice was off-key, Madam still gritted her teeth and endured. She panted for a moment, then continued, "Husband, you've applied the machine oil. Now let's talk about this Bug Overlord again. Husband, don't deceive your servant; where exactly did this thing come from?"

Li Banfeng got angry. "I told you, I bought it from the peddler!" he snapped. "Since you don't believe me, I'll just throw it out."

Li Banfeng actually moved to throw it, but the gramophone quickly stopped him. "Husband, you mustn't throw this away," she urged.

"Why can't I throw it away?" he asked. "It's just a fifteen-yuan item; why all this fuss?"

"Don't be angry, husband, apply as much oil as you wish," she pleaded. "Don't be mad, husband, your servant knows she was wrong."

The gramophone coaxed and persuaded Li Banfeng back. Tang Dao, who was nearby, added, "Mistress, I can vouch for my master on this. It was indeed bought for fifteen yuan. The peddler even said it should be eaten fresh, either boiled in soup or made into porridge!"

"What soup? What porridge?" the gramophone scoffed, inserting two needles into the locust's head. "Something this good must be eaten raw!"

"Hiss, hiss, hiss!" The Copper Lotus bloomed, covered in dew.

Previously, she had been refining the Dripping Monster and a piece of Pandehai's heart flesh, and her lotus seeds had not matured yet. But at this moment, she paused the refinement, as the whirlwind within her lotus heart was already blowing towards the locust head's antennae.

"Honglian, are you greedy too? Don't be so impatient!" the gramophone said, still trying to restrain herself. "I still can't figure out what the peddler was thinking."

The Wine Gourd nudged against Li Banfeng. She wanted to explain a few things, but she needed his permission.

Li Banfeng patted the gourd's waist twice. "Just say what you want," he said. "No need to be so restrained at home."

The Gourd said to the gramophone, "Sister, little brother did a meritorious deed in treating the insect infestation at Sea-Eating Ridge. This must be the peddler's reward."

"Meritorious..." Madam mused. What kind of merit could warrant such a generous reward?

Madam didn't know much about outside matters and had originally wanted to ask for more details, but her irresistible appetite made her abandon the idea. "'Give and take, no one owes anything' — that truly is the peddler's nature. In that case, there's no need to worry!" she declared. "Oh, sisters, prepare your chopsticks!"

Tang Dao shouted, "I'm ready too!"

The gramophone trembled and began to suck the remaining soul and spiritual essence from the locust.

The Pendulum immediately rushed forward and pleaded with the gramophone, "Madam, your servant has followed master through thick and thin, faced enemies in battle without ever flinching. You can't forget your servant's reward!"

After speaking, the Pendulum stepped forward and sucked a mouthful of brain marrow from the locust.

The gramophone was furious. A cloud of steam forced the Pendulum back. "You ill-mannered wench!" she fumed. "I haven't even finished eating, and you dare to stick your mouth in!"

"Opportunity waits for no one!" Tang Dao rushed over, shouting loudly. "Mistress is right to scold! How could it be that wretch's turn? In every battle and skirmish, wasn't I always at the front?"

Tang Dao wasn't greedy; he only wanted one antenna. The gramophone wouldn't give it, scorching Tang Dao until he was red all over.

The Earring cried, "Master, I have diligently served by your side. When have I ever been even slightly negligent? This credit cannot be without my share!"

"Of course not, of course not..." Li Banfeng consoled.

"This old one's heart is cold!" the Teapot couldn't help but exclaim. "This old one is willing to change the rules! This old one sincerely follows master; just let this old one have a bite!" He was sealed by the gramophone and couldn't exert his power, but he forcefully resisted the scorching steam, trying to get a share of the spoils.

The Wine Gourd had been restraining herself, but the gramophone saw through her thoughts. "Sister, do you want to eat?" she asked. "Since you only eat flesh and blood, wait until I'm finished, then you can have a bite. Only when we've eaten from the same table are we truly family. Don't be shy about it."

The Wine Gourd was very nervous, unsure if the gramophone was sincerely inviting her or intentionally testing her.

She nudged against Li Banfeng.

Li Banfeng smiled. "Go on, eat!" he said. "Treat it like a big feast."

Seeing that the gourd needed to ask Li Banfeng for permission for everything, Madam paused for a moment, then continued sucking on the locust head.

All the magical artifacts gathered around, waiting for a break in Madam and Honglian's meal to step forward and get a share of the spoils.

Faintly, Li Banfeng heard a weak voice.

"Give me, one bite, just one bite..."

Who was speaking? Li Banfeng searched for the source of the sound for a long time and finally found it.

It was the Judge's Brush, the one that was lazy in cultivation.

Before, when they encountered Pandehai's heart flesh, it had wanted a bite; when they encountered the Dripping Monster, it had also wanted a bite. But it was too lazy to speak. This time, encountering the Bug Overlord's head, it truly couldn't resist and finally spoke.

Even the Judge's Brush had spoken; was there still a magical artifact missing?

Li Banfeng remembered. The fan Pandehai had given him hadn't spoken; it couldn't, as it had already been refined by the Copper Lotus.

After refining for so long, why was there no movement? While heart flesh and the Dripping Monster might be hard to digest, refining a magical artifact shouldn't take this long.

Li Banfeng questioned the Copper Lotus. As the Copper Lotus couldn't speak directly to him, the gramophone explained while eating: "This isn't Honglian's fault. She has already cleaned up the folding fan, but its spiritual essence is difficult to handle. The fan's spiritual essence was extremely loyal to Pandehai. Although it verbally agreed to follow you, it still harbored other intentions. There must have been some trick from Pandehai. Even if it were re-refined, it would still be a rebellious bad seed. Honglian doesn't eat raw things, and the spiritual essence within these high-level magical artifacts can be considered living creatures. So, Honglian handed this spiritual essence to your servant, and your servant ate it!"

"Ate it?" Li Banfeng frowned. "Doesn't that mean the magical artifact is ruined?"

"You can't really say it's ruined; the material is still there," she replied. "The materials for high-level magical artifacts are very precious. If you encounter an obedient spiritual essence in the future, you can just re-refine it. Gourd sister, do you think this was an appropriate way to handle it?"

"Sister handled it well, it should be handled this way," the Gourd replied, a layer of cold sweat reappearing on her.

Madam was still absorbing the spiritual essence, and Honglian generated another whirlwind, blowing over the Bug Overlord's head.

The Pendulum and Tang Dao also quietly moved closer to the head.

Madam got angry. "What is wrong today?" she fumed. "Why is everyone so ill-behaved? Have you all been possessed by hungry ghosts or something?"

"Gurgle, gurgle!" The gramophone's water tank also made a strange sound, very similar to the rumble of a hungry stomach.

"Oh dear! Why does your servant still feel hungry?" she exclaimed. "This is too abnormal! Husband, did you bring something back?"

Li Banfeng pulled a worm out of his pocket. "Pandehai gave me this," he said.

"An Intestine Silk Worm!" Madam exclaimed, startled. "How could that old dog Pandehai give you such a thing! No wonder everyone in the family is so hungry; it turns out this worm is causing mischief!"

"This thing is also a treasure," Li Banfeng said.

"It is a treasure, no doubt," she conceded, "but it's useless to anyone except food cultivators!"

"It can't be useless, can it?" Li Banfeng wondered. "If worst comes to worst, let Honglian refine it into a magical artifact."

"This is a unique creature from Sea-Eating Ridge," she explained. "Any magical artifact refined from it would likely be of little use, and the cost would be considerable. Carrying it would make you want to eat all the time—a complete burden."

"Then refine it into a medicinal pill."

"This thing can't be refined into any good medicinal pills," she said. "If eaten, you might even turn into a hungry ghost. In the end, it would still have to be sold to food cultivators. Besides, Honglian doesn't eat raw things, so the worm's soul would have to be dealt with separately."

"Then Madam should eat it to nourish herself."

"Thank you, husband, for your concern," she replied. "If your servant were to eat it, when I got hungry, I wouldn't be so refined. I'd probably eat whatever I saw."

*As if you're usually very refined,* Li Banfeng thought.

Li Banfeng opened a can of food. "According to you," he asked, "how should this thing be dealt with?"

"Husband, don't bring it home again; if you keep it too long, something bad might happen!" she urged. "Quickly price it and sell it. Find a food cultivator; you should be able to get a good price." The gramophone was not being an alarmist; from today's situation, these magical artifacts showed signs of being out of control, even the Judge's Brush, which was lazy in cultivation, had spoken.

Li Banfeng said, eating from the can, "I can't keep carrying this around forever, and our household's canned food is almost gone."

The gramophone exhaled a cloud of steam, enveloping the Intestine Silk Worm. "I'll trap it for now," she said, "but I can't hold it for too long. Husband, sell it as soon as possible."

The atmosphere inside the Portable Dwelling remained lively. Even though the Intestine Silk Worm was controlled, the allure of the Bug Overlord's head persisted.

Madam finished eating the spiritual essence and felt quite tired. The other magical artifacts each got a share of the spoils. The Lotus took the insect head, and layers of halo emanated from her body.

Li Banfeng left the Portable Dwelling. He opened his map and, following Old Yao's route, turned back towards Medicine King Gully.

The Wine Gourd was a bit worried. "Little brother," she said, "I promise not to blab to Old Yao when we get back. If you really don't trust me, we don't have to go to Medicine King Gully. It's just that I still have the contract on me, so it would be best to have some explanation."

Li Banfeng patted the gourd. "I trust you," he said, "and I trust Old Yao."

Inside the Portable Dwelling, Honglian asked, "It seems that gourd couldn't grasp the madman's intentions."

"She certainly couldn't," the gramophone replied, yawning. "Even I sometimes can't grasp what that madman is thinking."

Honglian softly asked, "Wicked woman, are you going to recover? You've eaten quite a lot of good things these past two days."

"Wretch, have you eaten fewer good things than I have?" Madam retorted. "You gave the medicinal pills to the madman, but didn't you keep the good stuff for yourself? You've been chewing for so long this time; you must have saved up a lot of energy."

Honglian sneered, "I merely pick up scraps from your mouth. If you ever manage to leave this place, don't forget to take me with you."

"The day you want to leave, you'd better notify me in advance," Madam warned, "otherwise don't blame me for ruining your plans."

"Wicked woman, do you think we can find a way to get out by ourselves?" Honglian asked, stirring up a whirlwind that opened the door to the outer room. She seemed to be looking at the main dwelling's door.

"Haven't you tried before?" the gramophone said, yawning again and falling into a deep sleep. "This is that madman's residence; without his involvement, no one can get out. If you're not convinced, try again."

Honglian emitted a halo and quickly resumed refining pills.

She needed to get more medicinal pills for this madman to eat. Honglian sensed that the Dwelling Cultivation was about to advance, and if the Journey Cultivation couldn't keep up, the madman might lose his life.

While refining pills, Honglian occasionally glanced towards the door.

Before leaving this place, she absolutely had to keep the madman alive.