Chapter 618: The Secret of the Gods

In the Azure Sand Desert, the wind was absent only on the night the Red Moon's light first emerged. By the second day, it had returned. Initially faint, it has now raged for three days. The azure wind, carrying azure sand, howls across the sky, constantly shifting the dunes and transforming the desert into a turbulent sea of sand. A wailing sound, like the collective cries of all beings, continuously echoed throughout heaven and earth.

In this desert, Xu Qing's body was more than half submerged, with only a small portion visible. He lay motionless, like a corpse. He had been pondering the nature of humanity and divinity. This profound question was difficult for Xu Qing to fully grasp, especially the latter. He was not a deity, nor could he, as a human, comprehend the divine nature of deities.

However, Xu Qing had an advantage: in his mere twenty years of life, he had witnessed an abundance of evil and suffering, and had seen humanity's endless ugliness. Therefore, he possessed an understanding of humanity. For these three days, he had continuously recalled his past, every scene he had witnessed since he could remember.

There was greed, madness, cannibalism, and ferocity. Amidst it, there was also beauty, but it ultimately vanished like a fleeting spark. Yet, he remembered the feeling he had at the moment the spark appeared, like the tranquility of Twin City in his childhood, the impression his parents left on him, the warmth Captain Lei brought him, and Duanmu Zang's sentiment. And also... the figure of Kong Liangxiu, the Palace Master of the Sword-Holding Palace.

Much of humanity possesses both good and evil, Xu Qing murmured to himself. Humanity also encompasses emotions towards things, and the bonds that arise from them. Xu Qing thought of his master, his captain, Zi Xuan, Ling'er, and all the figures he had met along his journey. Some he hated, some he was grateful for, some he loathed, and some he liked.

"From being alone at the start until now," he thought, "unbeknownst to me, the concerns in my heart have grown, and so have the bonds. All of this is like countless threads woven into a vast net." "And humanity is the source of this net; it dictates my emotions." Xu Qing opened his eyes, looked at the sky, and in the wailing wind, felt what seemed to be the cries of all beings.

"Humanity, in fact, also encompasses the desire for life and the fear of death. For instance, my childhood wish was simply to survive. Even all emotional fluctuations and styles of conduct are, in fact, manifestations of humanity. For example, when I was in Twin City, I had no thoughts of killing; I wouldn't ponder the future or what I would become as an adult. But after experiencing a series of events, I changed."

Xu Qing murmured. This recollection deepened his understanding as he continuously analyzed himself. The surfacing of past events also deepened his understanding of humanity.

"One difference between humanity and bestiality is restraint." Xu Qing lowered his head to look at his bare left arm, recalling his previous moment of madness. He felt that the source of restraint was self-discipline, but what was the origin of self-discipline? Xu Qing pondered. "It comes from the moral constraints within my cognition," he mused. "This part is the attribute that makes a person human. Therefore, humanity is orderly," Xu Qing realized, "whereas bestiality is the opposite—it is chaotic and disorderly, acting purely on instinct. This is the state of the beasts on Wanggu Continent that have been infested by divine aura."

"What about divinity, then?" Xu Qing fell silent. He still didn't understand, but he knew his body was a deity's form, that his poison taboo came from the Divine Realm, and his Violet Moon was also a divine source. "So, if I let my Violet Moon power permeate my entire body," he thought, "in a sense, divinity would already be present. It's just that... I haven't realized it, or perhaps it hasn't manifested, because I am human, not a god."

"The Prince's requirement for me is to feel hunger, a hunger like that of the Crimson Mother." Could hunger, then, be the key to unlocking divinity? "But how does a deity's hunger arise?"

Xu Qing was confused. At this moment, he could no longer feel hunger; his body had become accustomed, his weakness adapted, and death was approaching. After a long while, Xu Qing sighed softly. He still couldn't find the answer, but he didn't want to lie there any longer, so he struggled to sit up from the sand.

In the distance, some desert beasts had already appeared. Even further away, he saw a colossal mushroom emanating malice and moving towards him. A terrifying aura and dreadful fluctuations emanated from the mushroom, giving Xu Qing the impression it was not at the Nascent Soul stage, but at the Dao Nourishment level. In the Azure Sand Desert, these mushrooms were eerie existences. They were not numerous, their roots could outline giant figures, and few people dared to provoke them. Xu Qing had sensed this when he first came to this desert years ago.

But now, merely the act of sitting up consumed his already limited strength. As he sat up, the depression formed in the sand behind him was rapidly filled by the surrounding sand, slowly leveling out. Xu Qing was stunned. He turned his head, staring at the filled depression. His mind buzzed at that moment, as if streaks of lightning flashed through it, making him forget the surrounding dangers and ignore everything, his eyes fixed only on the filled sand pit.

"It's filled up..." he realized. "When I lay there, I was part of the sand pit. And after I got up, a piece was missing there, so... the sand flowed in, making it return to its original state. Then, if this sand pit is me, and the original sand is humanity," he mused, "the sand that filled it in later is divinity."

Xu Qing's expression changed, and his breathing quickened slightly. He vaguely felt he had grasped a crucial point, and just as he was about to ponder it, at the next instant, a huge scorpion tail rapidly burrowed out of the sand beside him and stabbed into Xu Qing's body. With a flick, Xu Qing's body, like a kite with a broken string, crashed some distance away with a thud. In an instant, three sand scorpions rushed directly to where he fell, rapidly approaching and tearing at him.

Xu Qing ignored them. Though his body was weak, it still possessed resilience and could not be torn apart by these scorpions in a short time. Though pain still surged, Xu Qing's thoughts were now the most important matter. He allowed the scorpions to bite him, closing his eyes to continue his previous line of thought.

"Erase my humanity," he thought, "no longer using humanity to restrain bestiality, allowing divinity to fill in, and using divinity to act upon bestiality!" Xu Qing's mind roared. He understood. "I don't need to understand what divinity is," he realized. "What I need to do is, once divinity has merged, to perceive through divine sight and understand. At that time," he mused, "perhaps I won't need to restrain my bestial nature, because it won't require restraint; it will naturally obey me."

"Therefore, the Prince told me that to achieve this, humanity and divinity must overlap. This is a fusion and a choice! But why does hunger appear then?"

Xu Qing understood some answers, but some questions remained unanswered. Ultimately, he faced a choice at this moment: whether or not to try. After a while, Xu Qing recalled the tea mentioned in the Prince's earliest guidance to him. He then thought of his experiment on the Golden Crow, and the Prince's enlightenment when he plucked a small blade of grass. Tea and water can merge but can also be separated. And even if a twig leaves a sapling, it is still part of the sapling; their origins are the same. "So, even if I try, it's not irreversible."

Xu Qing was silent for a moment, a resolute look in his eyes, because he knew that unless he was willing to abandon completely mastering the Violet Moon power, this was his only path. "As for how to erase humanity..." Xu Qing closed his eyes. The method to erase humanity, he realized, was to no longer restrain his instincts. Thus, he began to slowly adjust.

Moments later, Xu Qing's breathing grew increasingly rapid, and his body slowly trembled. After a long while, his eyes suddenly sprang open, revealing a bestial madness within. He no longer restrained his instincts, no longer curbed his actions, no longer considered morality, good or evil, or his dignity as a human. He no longer pondered memories, nor cared about emotions. He released, released—instincts continuously burst forth.

The next instant, a bestial growl escaped Xu Qing's lips. His eyes bloodshot, he suddenly lowered his head to look at the scorpions tearing at him. Saliva uncontrollably drooled from the corners of his mouth. The hunger from his body erupted uncontrollably at this moment. He didn't know where the strength came from, but he grabbed a scorpion and began to bite it madly. Sand flew, and roars echoed. Growls and sharp screeches continuously intertwined and merged. After the time it takes an incense stick to burn, a figure roared out from within.

It was Xu Qing. However, at this moment, he was disheveled and panting heavily, his face and body covered in blood. His left arm, from which he had previously bitten off large amounts of flesh, was completely severed, but this did not affect his speed. His thoughts were gone; only instinct remained. He wanted to eat, to eat everything.

Instinctual hunger drove him into a frenzy. He wanted to devour, not just with a craving for flesh and blood, but with a deeper, more demanding urge. He didn't know what it was, but he felt as though his body contained countless voids, and an incredibly important substance was fading away. And as it faded, the feeling of hunger grew stronger, coming from his body, from his soul.

At the same time, purple light shone from his body! This was the Violet Moon power! It surged with unprecedented intensity at this moment, reflecting Xu Qing in that instant, utterly close and infinitely merging. The surroundings twisted, heaven and earth blurred, and the power of a deity roared, erupting from Xu Qing's body. The sand trembled, and the azure wind paused, actually rolling back as if daring not to approach.

A wailing sound emanated from Xu Qing's mouth as he ran madly, rushing directly towards the distant mushroom and instantly drawing near. The mushroom's surface, which would have required considerable spiritual power to break even at his peak, spontaneously cracked open. As horrifying screams echoed, Xu Qing directly burrowed inside, opening his mouth wide and devouring fiercely. His only remaining right hand was constantly flailing, frantically grabbing piece after piece of flesh and stuffing it into his mouth.

"Hungry... hungry..." The mushroom's own resistance was extremely fierce. Numerous tentacles flew out from the sand, forming the outline of a giant, suppressing Xu Qing. Under its aura, all Nascent Souls would crumble. Even the previous Xu Qing would have needed to exert his full strength to resist. But now... these tentacles, containing suppressing power, surprisingly collapsed and shattered on their own as soon as they approached Xu Qing. They could not harm Xu Qing in the slightest.

Waves of terror emanated from within the mushroom, agonizing wails turning into the cries of life. But Xu Qing continued to devour, mouthful after mouthful. His stomach swelled, but the feeling of hunger did not decrease; instead, it became even more terrifying. In the end, it was as if all the voids in his body melted together, forming an immense black hole that swallowed him whole. The divinity from the Violet Moon also shone even more intensely at this moment. Purple aura from all directions enveloped heaven and earth. The divine source erupted.

Xu Qing's movements slowly came to a halt at this moment. In his frenzied state, a hint of cold clarity appeared in his bloodshot eyes. He vaguely seemed to perceive divinity. Indescribable, unnameable. Xu Qing didn't understand everything, but at this moment, he had some sudden feelings. For example, whether the Crimson Mother came or not was no longer important in his thoughts. Who he was, also no longer mattered.

Emotions, past, good and evil, grievances, all people, all matters—he remembered them all, but at this moment, none of them mattered. His view of things, his understanding of all phenomena, remained the same as before. Therefore, the Prince said, "At the moment of success, he doesn't know if I'll still be me..."

"Because, at the moment divinity completely replaces humanity," he thought, "things and people that were once incredibly important to me become insignificant in that instant." Xu Qing pondered with indifference. He only briefly considered this question before deeming it meaningless. For him, pondering this matter was equally unimportant. As for this world before his eyes, permeated with decay, where winds of sorrow blew, terrifying phantoms swirled between heaven and earth, and withered bones and maggots were submerged in ruins—even the blurred, distorted face in the sky, its form changed, with its eyes wide open, gazing at the earth as if they had never closed—none of it mattered.

What was important was that Xu Qing was very hungry, an extreme, boundless hunger. Boundless, without beginning or end. Xu Qing understood the source of this hunger. It was another instinct: the pursuit of life's evolution. It was also a farewell to the past, with lingering reluctance. It was the loss of humanity and the integration of divinity, resulting from humanity not completely disappearing, thus forming an imperfection that manifested as a black hole.

"To resolve this hunger," he concluded, "I must become perfect and completely erase humanity at the same time." He hasn't fully achieved it, nor has the Crimson Mother; the captain is also like this... That's why deities get hungry. Even the Ancient Spirit Emperor never did. Xu Qing indifferently thought about these unimportant matters, not knowing why he was pondering them. So, he quickly ceased thinking. Yet, after stopping, he vaguely felt that it was very important.

The collision of these two thoughts caused a struggle to appear in his eyes, which were at times indifferent, and at times regained a human touch. Amidst the continuous intertwining, veins pulsed on Xu Qing's forehead, and he let out a painful wail. The clarity in his eyes rapidly vanished as madness resurfaced, and the instinct to pursue perfection, the process of erasing humanity, uncontrollably erupted once more.

Xu Qing, insane once more, with purple light surging around him like a deity descending, galloped towards the distance. There was food there. And where he had left, not a speck of the mushroom remained; it had been completely devoured.